'Hours to days' is what the Hospice nurse has said. 'She is in rapid decline.'
She is off all medications except for Lorazepam and Morphine. Her sister, her favorite sister, and her husband are there - staying with my father tonight. My Aunt put the phone up to my Mother, and I could hear her moan with each breath. She is on oxygen.
I wanted to leave right away, but my Father doesn't want to also be worrying about me driving through the night on I-95. Instead, I will leave very early in the morning.
I am so proud of my Father.
And I'm proud of how my Mother managed to live her last year, even under the cloud of such a horrible disease. During her last year in her garden - she often said that she thought it was at it's most beautiful. And it was.
During my last visit - when my brother and I were both preparing to leave in the early morning - she got up and packed us snacks for the road. Our Mother to the end.
How does one wander around in the world, after their Mother has gone? I see people doing it all of the time - so I suppose it is something that I will learn to do too. Perhaps there are secrets I will learn, perhaps there is a secret society one enters - with oaths, and t-shirts, and theme songs.
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